Desolate, Dejected But Determined

The three D's , that make up the title of this post, precisely sum up the situation in which I am. Mid-semester breaks are on and instead of going back home yours truly decided, for the very first time, to stay back here in the R-Land. Though it's just the beginning of an eight-day long break but I have already started to despise the ambiance which I have been subjected to in the first couple of days. The corridors which are always lively and resonant with the shouts of ebullient souls are in a deserted state, giving me a feeling of numbness as I walk through them. The roads which are always busy and beaming with students and vehicles are empty. The street dogs are having a party every night in the hostel corridors, evident every morning from the rampaged state of the waste-collectors placed at the very end of the corridors, growling ferociously every night to express their joys.

There are no people around except for the few noble haddu-matkas who have stayed here and are giving me a silent company on this marooned island. I have plenty of time to eat, to drink, to sing, to dance, to watch movies, to litter around, to study, to surf, to blog and to sleep. But even after having so many options at my disposal yours truly decided to spend his plentiful time on sleeping, CATing, GREying my brain cells, and watching few movies and probably that has led to the second D i.e. Dejection.

The mock tests that I gave have served the only purpose of making me feel nugatory, all my endeavors as a mere chaff, and sometimes aggravating me to an extent that I literally shout on myself. But even after so much of dejection, somewhere I see a glimmer of hope, and perhaps that keeps me going, and with every passing day I become more and more determined to give my best, for that's the only thing that I can strive for, the rest is certainly beyond my reach.

Well, someone has rightly said that the darkest hour is just before the dawn. Though I don't reckon my state as the darkest one but I am eagerly awaiting a lively and a much brighter dawn.