Excerpts From the Diary of a Demented Soul

April 18th, 2012..150kms off the coast of Mumbai in the Arabian Sea

Today, I found what I have been searching for the past few months. Standing on top of the main deck in the middle of a mighty ocean, observing those wavy wavelets rise and fall in quick successions, eyes awestruck at the sight of those massive seahorses making the ocean glitter like white snow, a cool breeze caressing my face giving that silken touch of rose petals, I found what our very own Kung Fu Panda Po described as "Inner Peace". I was in dire need of it. It is relaxing and I wish the moment could last forever. It is a special moment, special for the fact that my mind is free, free of everything, devoid of thoughts, my eyes just observing things and savouring the moment. 

People say offshore can be a very painful experience with multitude of problems like sea-sickness, insomnia etc. affecting both body and mind and I agree with it too. But on this particular occasion I am finding it different. Perhaps, deep down inside I wanted to isolate myself, cutoff myself from the humdrum of daily life. I felt tired, tired of travelling the same route everyday, tired of taking the same bus everyday, tired of eating the same food everyday, tired of overthinking about things over which I don't have any control, tired of answering people about my MBA plans, tired of those daily dose of official jibber-jabbers and friendly banters. This particular offshore sojourn is much more than just bringing about some routine change. It is about having some quality time with myself. It bestows me with an opportunity to think about nothing, savour the moments of nothingness and enjoy that peace of mind. I just wish I have few more of these moments in the times to come.

Amen !

With LOVE...

“....And that’s why birds do it, bees do it

Even educated fleas do it,

Let’s do it, let’s fall in love.”

The other day I found myself surrounded by a bunch of lovers. There was so much of love around me that I felt as if I was sitting next to the pool of love, watching those wonderful lovers taking a dive into the depths of the pool. It may sound a bit voyeuristic but the sight was enchanting nevertheless.

Well, the occasion I am referring to was a visit paid by the girlfriends of two of my close friends to their respective boyfriends. Many of you might be wondering what was I doing amidst all this. The answer to this question befuddles me till date. After constant deliberation what I have figured out is, there can be two possible reasons for this. The first one, my friends feel sad for me (my singleton status maybe) and out of pity they always take me out with them, with a glimmer of hope that I might find someone of my taste in one of these outings. Perhaps, all six of us can then together take a dive into that pool of love. The second one, I am witty enough to keep them entertained but not charming enough to woo their girlfriends. But that, of course, is my side of the story. 

Lately, what I have observed on each of these occasions are the different forms of love. From those mushy-gushy sugar coated banters to those occasional tantrums, from that I-would-die-for-you attitude to that I-don’t-care attitude, from those occasional concealed angry-looks to those often so difficult quests to get to the reason of that anger, I have seen it all. But what really amazes me is the fact that in spite of all these 180 degree mood swings they still reconcile with each other. Perhaps, the only reason that makes me believe them when they say, “We love each other”.

Now, during the last meeting that I had with the aforementioned lovers, I entered into a rather interesting conversation with my friend’s girlfriend, when she suggested me to better stay single. When asked about the reason, she said that my happy-go-lucky countenance made her feel that way. Also she suggested that in case my friends ever tend to lose control over their senses or are ever shadowed by the clouds of grief (I wonder what clouds of grief was she referring to!!), I should be there to take care of them. On what grounds did she conjecture such a fatherly figure for me is still a mystery to me. I just kept nodding my head suggesting that I was listening to her with rapt attention. At the end though, I don’t know why, but she concluded with an offer that if I am interested she is ready to talk to a friend of her about me, perhaps, the lure of that one opportunity to explore that elusive pool of love. I retorted with nothing but a smile.

        

As I think of all these occasions now, there is a sense of amazement over the range of emotions that these lovers’ exhibit; there is a sense of amusement over the kind of cheesy conversations that these lovers’ indulge in; there is a sense of disbelief over the kind of trivial issues that they fight over; there is a sense of importance that I as an odd one enjoyed in a company of evens.

In the end a piece of advice to all, the next time your friend asks you to come for a lunch or a dinner with him and his girlfriend, just go for it. You might not know but the occasion, if not entertaining, is certainly worth capturing !